And I'm back.Part Two of FAQ and comments to me on Facebook...Enjoy!
3) “I wish I could go natural, but I have this kind of job… my parents won’t like it that… men won’t like me….”
Jamie: I’ve actually have had these kind of conversations.
Being chemical free is a emotional choice. I think its because a lot of women with relaxers literally haven’t seen their natural texture in years and it’s a scary thought. “How does my hair really look?
I got my first relaxer at nine. I wanted a Jheri Curl but my mom had a juicy, fresh one and she said couldn’t afford two Curls. So I got a kiddie perm instead. It wasn’t til I was a sophomore in college in 1996 did I see my natural hair in ten years. Remember, this wasn’t the age of Natural Hair Shows, Carol’s Daughter, Hair Forums, or You Tube Gurus, so it wasn’t super popular. My mother hated it, my sorors thought I was nuts, and my friends were not to into it either.
Reverting back to who we were can be scary. Hair is emotional. I suggest before you make any decisions, pray or meditate on what’s good for your soul and hair. Can you live without the creamy crack? Are ready to embrace the good and the bad reactions to your decision? It is that DEEP. After you have received your answer and if is to go natural, research options to getting there, whether its ‘transitioning’ or going all the way and big chopping it all off. I’ve been natural about four times on and off since 1996, each time for a different reason. This is the only time, right now, I felt like the decision was from my soul and that I love what I did.
As far as parents go, we all have different relationships with them. Some of us care if that they are happy with our appearance and that is okay. I used to be like that but I couldn't’ make them happy if I tried. I was wasting my time and MY life living for my parents’ visual expectations of me. With my mom, the more she hates something I do with my personal look, the more I want to do it! Lol!
Friends, well, if they are so shallow to not support your decision to go natural, they were not your friends in the first place. Womp. As we grow as people, real relationship will true and genuine people will make you life better.
Job? The best answer I have is that if you is USE YOUR BEST JUDGEMENT. I've always had jobs wear I can wear my hair as a please but some people don't have to that luxury. You are there to get paid and not make a statement no matter where you work, unless its from home. My mother used rant and rave about my hair " You'll never get a job with that 'fro or locks". But she's from a different generation and that's another post. If you like the lifestyle that your job provides you, then do what you gotta do. I'm not a natural hair"nazi", so if staying relaxed because you work at BOA uptown and you are "thousandaire" then do what you got to do to keep your paper, boo-boo.
Last but not least, men. Take it from your girl, I lack of no male attention. I still get male attention with a wig, weave, bald, afro, braids…I guess because I possess a little 'more' than just my hair. There are men, who are gorgeous, who only like women with long hair or real hair. Respectfully, that’s their preference. I prefer straight teeth, no exceptions. That’s ONE of my preferences. But a real man will want you regardless of your last relaxer. When I wear my hair ‘out’, I get WAY more attention from genuine men than when I’m wearing a wig. That’s a good thing. I like real men.
Jamie
2 comments:
I could not agree more. I cut off my processed locks in 1996 and have never looked back.
People have said that I look better with my natural short hair. Men still look, and my job has never suffered.
I worked in a law firm and in the DA's office and as long as you present yourself in an appropriate manner, your hair will not matter.
My father hated my haircut, but mother mother loved it. Your family will love you regardless. Hope this helps!
thanks Jackie for your story:)
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