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~Rant!~ I Hate/Love/Hate My Natural Hair: The Summer From Hair Hell!!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

It all started ok...Summer 2011 and my natural hair.....

May 2011

But my highly porous, dry, length retention RETARDED hair...can't take much "manipulation" as they say on the hair boards. It's as delicate as it gets. My goal is chin length hair, naturally, no flat iron, no blow out. I've never had much hair anyway, even as a child,  I never had "long hair". We won't start on my teenage years and my 20s....smh

So, I wanted to try all these "protective" styles these You Tube girls do this summer, where they pin up like four twists and it looks chic. Instead I look like Miss Celie....too country and I'm already country, chile. I wore my hair in a puff or twistout for about a month til Keisha started a Protective Hair Challenge. I decided to jump in because my hair was acting like it needed a break from doing nothing. *rolls eyes*
But, let's rewind.... My hair is probably a 4b or 4c, porous, tends to get dry and I have permanent hair loss on my sides from the abuse I put it thru when I was relaxed. Nothing will get it to grow back....and the looks and comments I get about my sides, you would think I had contagious hair loss disease.... I don't do braids or ANY KIND. No locs either..I don't believe my hair would be able to take them, the weight or manipulation. I look weird. I love a good wig and I would die for a sew-in with some good brazilian virgin remy right now!
So for  the protective style challenge, I wear a wig. I can wear a wig in the summer...doesn't bother me, but I don't like it. I still wash weekly, moisturize and seal when wearing that wig. I won a Koils By Nature Sample set couple weeks ago and I have a flat iron review/giveaway on deck so I decided to try the products and the flat iron and let my hair out...well, that's what sent me into the spiral of hair mood swings...
Me wigging it out in 100 degree weather....

I blew my hair out and it looked like all the hard work of protective styling, DCing, moisturizing, ACV rinsing had done not a bit of good.:(

 I felt and looked thin...and I discovered a spot of aloepecia I didn't know I had. How would I lose hair right there? Weird.
 The flat ironing was even more horrid...My ends look beat to death. I know they are the oldest ends of my hair....they look like it. If I wanted to wear my hair straight...I would have to take off at least three inches. **HEAVY SIGH**
And the length....I haven't retained any!! I'm going in two years November and this is all I got!?? I hate my hair right now. I just do. I don't hate it enough to RELAXED it though....that's true digression for me.

 That damn patch of hair...I don't even know how I LOST IT....:(

Me today...

I'm just worn out. My hair is almost ungrateful. lol! You have to laugh about it. All the work and love I give it and its ungrateful as HELL.

I just needed to rant with a full pictorial of course.:)

Hell, give me some advice, some encouragement....I always hear that on the hair boards..."We are there for each other" *side eye* Give me my "TENS" as my gay guys friends say! lol!

Maybe I need to read some positive hair affirmations... *sigh*


CHarm Ming on 2:08 AM said...

Heeey!!!...I don't think your hair looks horrible. I just think you haven't found the right products for you yet. As far as the flat iron goes, my hair looked like that...really ratty on the ends. I thought I needed to cut them off until I did the "chase" method. Running a comb through your hair in front of the flat iron. It got my hair SOOOOOO much straighter! I also LOVE hair oils and almost anything coconut. I tried shea butter and glycerin and all that but my hair seems to like coconut and aloe products. I'm no where near an expert on hair. I hate having to do hair and wish I had a live in hair stylist but since I couldn't afford that I had to do something. I've been natural since Jan 26th. 2010...that's when I did the big chop. I had about an inch of unstretched hair and thought I would die as I was so use to longer hair. Today my hair is shoulder length when it is flat iron but shrinks so much in its natural state that you can't tell how much it has grown since the "beginning". I wish you tons of luck with your hair journey and I look forward to more post like this!!!

Allegra Cole on 9:46 AM said...

GIRL! Us and our's an unsolved mystery.

I feel your pain though...but you know what I had to STOP doing?! Stressing about it...I haven't had a relaxer since 1997 and while I've been full of annoyance at times, I'm sure I won't go there again. The mere thought of SITTING in a salon wasting hours is enough to keep me nappy!

The Product Junkie in me wants to try all the latest & greatest people rave about, but my budget nor my hair can take it.

I've been through a transition within the transition, my 'fro lost some spunk when I got sick and it hasn't been the same since. I can most likely attribute some of that to getting *ahem* hair went through a good 2 years of raggedy, crispy ends no matter how many deep treatments & end cutting sessions I had.

I just rode the wave, didn't switch my products up too much, kept a good trim and rolled with it.

NOW, I still get sad when I see the pics of my glorious twist out from 10 years ago because I know it's not the same, it's lost some of it's girth...but I stop stressing because NO one can tell BUT me & I get so many compliments on my hair even though in my head, it's a stringy mess LMAO

So JJ, don't fret, it's progressing, I'm seeing it from a distance, as opposed to you, who sees it have an amazing puff, it pulls back nicely, your twist out holds a lot of definition and ...those products that work, stick with them. There is no miracle that will give us the Angela Davis 'fro if the genetics aren't there we have to make peace with what we have...

As much as I love Nappturality...I had to log off because I was always looking for the holy grail...and my natural affinity to be a PJ was not a good mix...LOL but I have some solid years nappy, so it's not as important for me to obsess like I used to.

Keep yo' head & your hair're doing a fab job...

Hope after all that rambling I was affirming enough LOL

Kim {The Stylish Life} on 2:33 PM said...

I think your hair looks thick and full. Are you taking vitamins? I know my vitamin regimen aids my hair growth a lot. If you can pick up silica 500mg, pantothenic acid 500mg, and MSM sulfur 200mg. Take them at night and see how that does for you. Hope that helps! I also read about drinking bamboo tea for hair growth,

Atiyah on 12:14 PM said...

As my mom says and you thought it would be easier natural and with locs. I loved the twist out on your hair it looks great! Stop worrying and stressing, it will be alright(I know easier said than done).

LaTonya on 10:32 AM said...

I don't think your hair looks bad at all! Its all about finding what you hair needs to retain moisture. I transitioned from relaxed to natural hair from May 2010 to April 2011. I had a great amount of hair but didn't know what to really do with it. I did at one point hit a very dry patch...I mean my hair felt like a brillo pad. I think I got so lost into trying so many products and oils I didn't let my hair tell me what it really liked. I decided t start only doing co-washes and my hair loved me for it. Then I decided to stop using the 10 yes 10 different oils and other products I was using and only use coconut oil and raw african shea butter. I made sure to seal my hair every night..btw I only wear twist out and twist and curls and my hair transformed. I have to remind myself to even deep conditioner because it stays so moisturized. I have also recently discover Wen products. I know that are not knew but I finally decided to give it a chance. I was skeptical about how ti would work on super coarse hair like mine and let me tell you I love it. It leaves your hair so soft and your curls so defined. You unfortunately can only order it online though.
Also I maintain a very healthy diet. I am not sure how you eat but that may also be a factor. So officially I have only been natural from April 2011 and my hair is already shoulder length when stretched. I think once you finally find the products that your hair likes you will be on a fast road to growth!

KurlyKeiKei on 4:11 PM said...

Jamie glad to see you are sticking with the challenge stay encouraged. sounds like you are doing right by your hair. eventually she will stop being ungrateful and respond favorably to your TLC! :)

Jamie @ Rural Glamour on 12:27 AM said...

Thank you ladies for all the love and support and advice you gave me in the comments! I will you all updated! XOXO Jamie

Delana on 11:29 PM said...

Hi Jamie, Do not be discouraged. Your hair looks great in twistouts and puffs. Looking throughout these blogs and videos can get you down at times, but we all have to work with what we have. I get frustrated with my length, and I get frustrated with my texture mostly b/c when something works i move on to the next product. This length in two years is great! 2 yrs post relaxer for me will be Feb 2013. I do not see my hair gracing my shoulders by then. you're doing something right!