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~10 Day You Challenge~: Seven Wants....

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Seven wants?....lets go.....

1) I want pure, simple, unadulterated happiness. I can say for the record...I haven't been happy in years. Like insanely happy but I think that has to do with clinical depression. I'm not always "sick" but I want happiness more than anything. I think if I had it, I could progress. crazzzyyyyyy.....

2) I want a new, off the car lot, no miles car. I don't care if when I put it on the road it will lose value. I want it to be undriven with no miles, fresh, clean, papers still stuck to it CAR! I've never had a new car but since I was 13 I've had five cars...all used.

3)I want a vacation. gahhhhh......

4)I want a McDonald's Caramel Frappe but I'm trying to live my life right!

5)I want to get makeup/beauty product WASTED. lol! By what ever I want, when I want it.

6) I want to be successful in what ever my destiny leads into.

7) I want to MOVE from this bumpdy, ho-donk,slip sliding ASSSSS town. I want to us to leave here so bad I can TASTE it!

eh...that one stressful to come up with! This definitely a CHALLENGE.:)

~Rant!~ I Hate/Love/Hate My Natural Hair: The Summer From Hair Hell!!

It all started ok...Summer 2011 and my natural hair.....

May 2011

But my highly porous, dry, length retention RETARDED hair...can't take much "manipulation" as they say on the hair boards. It's as delicate as it gets. My goal is chin length hair, naturally, no flat iron, no blow out. I've never had much hair anyway, even as a child,  I never had "long hair". We won't start on my teenage years and my 20s....smh

So, I wanted to try all these "protective" styles these You Tube girls do this summer, where they pin up like four twists and it looks chic. Instead I look like Miss Celie....too country and I'm already country, chile. I wore my hair in a puff or twistout for about a month til Keisha started a Protective Hair Challenge. I decided to jump in because my hair was acting like it needed a break from doing nothing. *rolls eyes*
But, let's rewind.... My hair is probably a 4b or 4c, porous, tends to get dry and I have permanent hair loss on my sides from the abuse I put it thru when I was relaxed. Nothing will get it to grow back....and the looks and comments I get about my sides, you would think I had contagious hair loss disease.... I don't do braids or ANY KIND. No locs either..I don't believe my hair would be able to take them, the weight or manipulation. I look weird. I love a good wig and I would die for a sew-in with some good brazilian virgin remy right now!
So for  the protective style challenge, I wear a wig. I can wear a wig in the summer...doesn't bother me, but I don't like it. I still wash weekly, moisturize and seal when wearing that wig. I won a Koils By Nature Sample set couple weeks ago and I have a flat iron review/giveaway on deck so I decided to try the products and the flat iron and let my hair out...well, that's what sent me into the spiral of hair mood swings...
Me wigging it out in 100 degree weather....

I blew my hair out and it looked like all the hard work of protective styling, DCing, moisturizing, ACV rinsing had done not a bit of good.:(

 I felt and looked thin...and I discovered a spot of aloepecia I didn't know I had. How would I lose hair right there? Weird.
 The flat ironing was even more horrid...My ends look beat to death. I know they are the oldest ends of my hair....they look like it. If I wanted to wear my hair straight...I would have to take off at least three inches. **HEAVY SIGH**
And the length....I haven't retained any!! I'm going in two years November and this is all I got!?? I hate my hair right now. I just do. I don't hate it enough to RELAXED it though....that's true digression for me.

 That damn patch of hair...I don't even know how I LOST IT....:(

Me today...

I'm just worn out. My hair is almost ungrateful. lol! You have to laugh about it. All the work and love I give it and its ungrateful as HELL.

I just needed to rant with a full pictorial of course.:)

Hell, give me some advice, some encouragement....I always hear that on the hair boards..."We are there for each other" *side eye* Give me my "TENS" as my gay guys friends say! lol!

Maybe I need to read some positive hair affirmations... *sigh*